The show opened with a recap of Randy Orton taunting Big Show, Mark Henry and Ric Flair. Tom Phillips called it a “troubling” legends night.
Triple H entered to start the show. They piped in loud cheering and “Triple H” chants. (I think they found a new volume level for him.) Triple H welcomed us to Raw but before he could say more, Orton interrupted.
Orton said the “office” showed up because Drew McIntyre couldn’t. Orton said he was supposed to have a big match tonight. Triple H said they both know that can’t happen. (They didn’t say what the reason was.)
Orton knew that Triple H was there to make some sort of announcement. He thought Triple H may award him the WWE title right now. Triple H suggested he win the Rumble if he wanted to be champion. Orton thought he must have an announcement that benefits him in some way.
Triple H said he was in awe watching Orton lately. He was impressed that Orton did what he had to, setting the Fiend on fire (he didn’t phrase it that way), because he was the only thing standing in the way of him becoming champion again.
Triple H understood all of that, but what he didn’t understand was Orton punting legends in the head because humiliating them didn’t benefit Orton. As a result, Triple H lost the admiration he had for Orton. Orton’s actions only solidified him as a prick.
Orton called himself a legend of his own time just like Triple H was. Orton wondered if The Game was still in there. Maybe he could take out the King of Kings once and for all. Orton challenged him to a fight (not a match).
Triple H said that had no benefit to him. He said no. Orton figured it was because Stephanie wasn’t there so Triple H couldn’t retrieve his balls from her purse.
Triple H faked saying something before punching Orton in the face. Orton fell out of the ring and smiled as he got back to his feet. Orton took that as a “yes.” (Triple H didn’t say anything.)
Thumbs In The Middle Pointing Down
(They cut to the announcers who didn’t say a word about McIntyre.)
Sarah Schrieber interviewed Charlotte Flair. Charlotte called Lacey Evans classless. She also said that things got heated last week which is why she snapped at her dad. She didn’t understand why Schrieber was asking about her dad when she’s about to have a match. Charlotte wanted to teach Evans a lesson. (I think this was designed to keep Charlotte a babyface by chalking up what she said to Ric as a mere disagreement in the moment.)
After Charlotte entered the ring, Evans told Schreiber that she thought Ric was a charming man’s man and anyone would want some of that. She dedicated the match to Ric and blew him a kiss.
They aired a video by Drew McIntyre, taken on his phone. He confirmed that he tested positive for COVID-19 but he was fortunate to not have any symptoms. He was proof that anyone could get it and encouraged everyone to practice social distancing, wear your mask, and stay safe.
Lacey Evans defeated Tag Team Champion Charlotte Flair (12:26)
This matched blew and went on for a million years
Charlotte was in control but Evans escaped the ring when she attempted a Figure Eight. At that point, Ric Flair’s music hit and he pranced out down the ramp. Charlotte appeared confused (she thought he was at home). About 40 seconds passed as Ric entered, meaning Evans should have been counted out. They went to break.
When they returned, Phillips mentioned that tonight was the 28th anniversary of Raw. Evans briefly took over until Charlotte hit a back suplex. Charlotte followed later with a neckbreaker and an exploder suplex.
Charlotte hit the Natural Selection but Ric put Evans’ foot on the rope. The referee saw (but somehow didn’t see Ric’s hand on her boot) so he stopped the count. As they battled near the ropes, Ric purposely tripped Charlotte, and Evans fell on her for a cover. Ric held Charlotte’s foot down as the ref counted to three. Evans left with Ric. This was bad.
Jackson Ryker defeated Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy defeated Elias
I'm boycotting these two matches
This show sucked across the board so far. It wasn't even their usual lets insult the fans because we're lazy and they won't know...... It was more we don't care anymore and won't even try.
Sheamus & Keith Lee defeated The Miz & John Morrison
This match was long and boring and had nonsensical pretenses
I'm trying to enjoy this show....as evident by my lack of notes, but WWE doesn't want me to.
Sheamus and Keith Lee are angrily fighting each other for like NO reason.
They didn't even have a "during the commercial" reason.
Just completely inexplicable
They've lost their minds!!! Everyone involved in this, including the writers.
Keith Lee eventually won with the Spirit Bomb
This was like a video game. Where the player waited for his finisher to charge so he can hit it and win
Then they had the temerity to hug
Drew accepted Goldberg's challenge. I was hoping Drew was faking having to Covid19 to avoid the Goldberg curse.
Matt Riddle was being annoying backstage. I'm sure he was high.
T-Bar defeated Xavier Woods
Where was Kofi?
Bobby Lashley defeated Riddle
Similar To Jeff Hardy, Riddle lost clean and then challenged the opponent's corner man.
Maybe it's a stoner thing.
MVP was wearing a whole suit and all he did was take off his blazer and tie.
Then Lashley attacked Riddle for the DQ. This match had almost no time before that point.
Matt Riddle defeated MVP via DQ
They recapped the Adam Pearce/Roman Reigns angle on Smackdown.
AJ Styles told Pearce that he would win the Rumble and maybe Pearce would win the title if Reigns slipped on eight banana peels, then the two of them could face each other at WrestleMania.
Drew Gulak interrupted to announce he would enter the Rumble. Pearce said he can’t do that. Why the fuck not? Everyone else does.
Gulak said Styles did. Styles said he can do that because he’s a two-time champion. Styles wondered who Gulak ever beat. Gulak had proof on a flash drive but Pearce didn’t want to see it. He told Gulak he can enter the Rumble if he beats Styles.
This didn't seem fair to poor Gulak
AJ Styles (w/Omos) defeated Drew Gulak (3:12)
There was a Goldberg video package.
You sure Goldberg isn't confusing Drew with Randy? It should be Randy vs Drew at RR based on context alone. At least that'll make sense. At least people would want to see that way more.
Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler defeated Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke (3:21)
Jax was in control and seemed to be going a move off the ropes but Baszler tagged herself in and tapped out Rose for the win. (Rose and Brooke declared themselves for the Rumble before the match.)
Triple H vs. Randy Orton
They kept calling this a “fight” so it’s not an official match, for those keeping records. The bell never rang, either. Triple H entered to his “The Game” theme. He worked in pants and a Motorhead t-shirt. Orton worked in his usual gear. After entrances, there were only about 6 minutes left in the show.
Orton hesitated to get in the ring. HHH knocked him down with a punch. Orton regrouped before entering the ring again and striking back with punches. HHH came back with fists of his own but Orton knocked him down with an uppercut. HHH responded by tossing Orton into the steel steps.
Orton poked him in the eye and tried a back suplex on the announce table but HHH blocked and suplexed him on the announce table instead.
HHH grabbed the sledgehammer but the lights started to turn off. HHH lifted up the sledgehammer which was suddenly on fire, catching him by surprise. The lights went out completely. A purple light shined on the ring and HHH was gone.
Alexa Bliss appeared in the corner. Bliss raised her hand to her chin before shooting fire into Orton’s face. Orton sold it like he was in immense pain and Byron Saxton said he might be blind.
This show blew in every conceivable way and I was completely numb to it
2 Thumbs Down
If every show henceforth was equal to or worse than this episode surely will it be canceled by Summerslam